Philosophers have been struggling to find an adequate distinction of love for countless years. Love is a problematic subject. It is fluid and changes over time as a rapport ages. What is love to one person is not to another. Is like a feeling or an feelings?
It may be helpful to examine your relationship along these four elements of love. How about one or more elements of love which might be not doing well in your rapport? Is your relationship well balanced (regarding these elements)? Possibly there is any element that you may need to work on? You may find it beneficial to.
May well I be so vibrant as to suggest that Sternberg’s model lacks an element of love that i believe is as important for the reason that the other three. The fact that element of love is relational safety. Relational safety is due to how safe each partner feels in the relationship. The following elements asks the following queries. Is it safe to tell you my secrets?
Without relational safety real emotional intimacy cannot develop into a deep and rich experience. Marital take pleasure in requires emotional intimacy, physical passion, commitment, and safe practices for it to flourish and last.
When a relationship will be based upon just one or two of these components any love relationship takes on a different sort of character. A relationship based only on intimacy, for example, is no more than just liking a person. Similarly, when a bond is only based on passion the relationship is infatuation.
Is love a more cognitive concept; such as a choice? Precisely what is the difference between reading “I like you” and “I love you”? A few years ago I discovered an article* on the triangle of like. Sternberg argues that a like relationship consists of three elements, namely: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Regularly have a heart to heart talk with your spouse regarding these four elements of like. Honestly inquire how committed you are. Measure emotional intimacy by how often you will talk and about what you will talk. Flirt, play, and build the passion between you. Resolve to be a safe and sound spouse. Relationships are all about how we relate. Do a great number of relating with your spouse that week.
When a relationship is only based on commitment we tend to find empty love; the couple is just living along. There can also be combinations of two elements in a absolutely adore relationship, such as, intimacy and passion resulting in romantic love. Other possible combinations are between intimacy and dedication resulting in companionate love, and between commitment and eagerness resulting in fatuous love.
Can I genuinely open up my heart in your direction? Will you still love myself if you know who I am? Will you use my disclosure against me later on? Will you laugh at everyone or joke at my charge if I tell you what I really think? Is my heart safe in your hands? Do you keep my heart’s secrets safe?
What is very important is that most cheerful, healthy, and lasting romantic relationships contain all three of these elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Sternberg calls these kinds of love consummate love.